Telecommunications Ad!

Open on hilariously straightfaced family with fat, redheaded son at kitchen table.

The daughter is autistic, but we don't reveal that.

DAD: Son, we have a FAMILY SIX(tm) plan now, and I was wondering if I could be in your SIX!

SON: That's a waste. I'm 12. I know two people. And we can call each other for free since we share the same plan anyway.

Silence. The daughter stares at her plate.

DAUGHTER: Forty-Eight Peas!

DAD, MOM and BROTHER all continue eating.

MOM begins to sob uncontrollably. SON, misunderstanding her tears readdresses DAD.

SON: Dad, you can be in my Six.

If you want the rest, email for dayrate.

Tumbling Produce Ad!

Open on produce tumbling though space. Beaded with freshness.

Music: Hot For Teacher rewritten with fresh produce in mind. Hot for produce.

Cut to sheet of crystal clear, crystal fresh water dropping from undetermined off-camera point....

Produce suddenly EXPLODES through sheet of water, suggesting double freshness and produce that is washed.

AS PRODUCE PENETRATES WATER SHEET, produce disassembles into perfect slices, as if cut not by knife, but by FRESHNESS ITSELF.

Pan right, iris up, David Lee Roth in a bathtub.

If you want the rest, email for dayrate.